Grieving Love While Choosing Love

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Losing Two Mentors in One Month...

There are some losses you can prepare words for. And then there are losses that leave you asking Jesus to help you understand how to keep walking.

Within one month, I lost two of my mentors.

Two completely different people. Two completely different assignments in my life. Yet both poured into the woman I am becoming.

My Spiritual Mentor

One was an Evangelist whose love walk with Jesus captured my heart.

I watched how he loved Jesus, his wife and children, his church, his family, his friends—and me.

From the first time I met him, my life changed. God used him to help deliver me from things I had struggled with for years. He showed me through Scripture and his life that the power of God wasn't something we simply read about.

God is present. God still heals. God still delivers. God still speaks.

I could call him for prayer, biblical wisdom, correction, or help understanding the character of God. He helped draw me closer to the Holy Spirit and taught me to listen and obey when the Holy Spirit speaks.

He counseled my husband and me before marriage and ultimately married us. He traveled from Africa to Chicago to Georgia. His family truly became our family.

He prayed over my father while he fought cancer. God used him to baptize my niece. He taught us about waking at 3:00 and 4:00 in the morning to worship, pray, and seek God. And one lesson I'll carry forever: pray for your enemies. Pray for their healing, freedom, and deliverance—even if you're doing it at 3:00 in the morning.

His passing hurt beyond words. I needed Jesus to help me—and I needed Him quickly.

I ran to Him and called out for help, and He helped me with His love and power.

Then Came Another Loss

Within the following weeks, I lost my beloved business mentor. For more than 30 years, she had worked as a buyer for major retailers, making decisions involving millions upon millions of dollars in apparel. And somehow, God allowed me to sit at her feet and learn.

For approximately two years, we spoke nearly every week. She didn't just teach me about clothing—she taught me the business of fashion. She taught me how to identify and understand my target audience, choose manufacturers, including manufacturers in China, evaluate vending locations, plan around fashion seasons, and turn apparel ideas into collections.

She taught me email marketing—who to email, how to send campaigns, and how to write emails that connect with customers. She taught me pitch decks and how to prepare for meetings with investors. She taught me how to truly think in this world of business, does it make since, dot my I's and cross my T's. What's the best options to grow my opportunities. And I loved her for her strong personality filled with care and love.

She taught me how to write blogs for my website, strengthen our branding, choose the right website plans, and think strategically about Carry Him's online presence.

She taught me about social media, videos, advertising, and marketing—how to find the people our message and clothing were created to reach and how to introduce Carry Him to them.

She helped me understand buying, retail, product development, manufacturing, seasons, vending, branding, marketing, and growth.

Most importantly, she helped me see how Carry Him could grow from T-shirts into our four complete collections.

She helped me prepare my book for a publicist. Eventually, she even stopped charging me and allowed me to intern under her brand.

She accelerated my wisdom.

She saw something in me and invested in it.

Then suddenly, she was gone too.

What They Left Inside Me

Grief has reminded me of something beautiful: People can leave this earth while what God placed inside them continues living through the people they poured into.

One mentor strengthened my relationship with the Holy Spirit.

The other strengthened my understanding of fashion, business, and the vision God gave me for Carry Him.

One helped build the woman. One helped build the vision. Both helped build me.

So now, part of honoring them is continuing. Continuing to pray. Continuing to listen to the Holy Spirit. Continuing to forgive. Continuing to learn. Continuing to build. Continuing to Carry Him.

I will miss their voices. I will miss their phone calls & time. I will miss knowing I can simply reach out and ask another question. But I thank God that before He called them home, He allowed our paths to cross. Their lessons didn't leave when they did.

They're still here. In me. ❤️

And as Carry Him grows, pieces of what they taught me will continue growing with it.

Thank You, Jesus, for the gift of mentors. Thank You for allowing their wisdom to become part of my journey. Help me steward well everything they poured into me—and someday, help me pour it into someone else.

Carry Him Apparel

"God in us."